I'm terrified to give birth! I've actually gone through it once but it was at 5 months, and our little boy didnt make it. We are very excited to be having this baby boy, but I'm absolutely terrified to do this again. I know how bad it hurt and how hard recovery was and I wasn't even full term! I'm terrified to tear down there or be cut, but I'm also terrified to be cut open for a C section. I am 38+6 and it's going to happen any day now. I've also been told I'm probably having a large baby, but I know they can be wrong so I'm hoping the US I had three weeks ago that he was already over 5.5lbs was wrong. I just want to be knocked out cold and sedated to give birth. I'm terrified of getting an epidural too. I really feel ashamed because so many women talk about what an amazing experience it is and when I tell them I'd rather be sedated and not remember it they look at me like I don't deserve to have children. I'm also worried that my fear is keeping him from deciding he is ready to meet the world. Ive been 4cm and 80% for three weeks, and at my appt on thurs Dr said I'm 5cm and 90% effaced now, but I still haven't one into active labor. I talk to my husband about my fears but even though he says he understands and tries to be supportive it doesn't really help because he has no clue what I'm going through. I just wish I could go to sleep and wake up and have a baby! It's also weird for me because I have a high pain tolerance, have always been a daredevil, and have never really been afraid of anything, I start horses and could care less about getting bucked off or anything like that, (even though of course my goal is to start them right so they don't buck or act up ;) I'm just venting and wondering if there is anyone else who feels the same. Please don't post rude comments about how I'm unnatural or it's not right how I feel, ado already said it hurts when people judge me for how I feel about this whole experience, thanks for kind words in advance!
on Aug 11, 2012