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Yes you can be raped by a spouse.

By: YennMendez
Member since Oct 19, 2011
Posted: Feb 22, 2012

I'm sorry but marrying someone doesn't give them the right to have sex with you whenever they feel like it, without your consent. If you say no and you go to sleep and wake up with him on top of you...it's rape. Doesn't matter if it's your spouse. No means no.

Arizona

I'm just a kid, and life is a nightmare.

diem1685

By: diem1685
Member since May 24, 2011
Posted: on Feb 22, 2012

Ummm ok.

diem1685

By: diem1685
Member since May 24, 2011
Posted: on Feb 22, 2012

I swear it's only the new users that start this stuff. I should ask shansel how many times we've seen this.

seanikins

By: seanikins
Member since Jul 07, 2011
Posted: on Feb 22, 2012

I disagree..

EDD: Mar 08, 2012

smallsw...

By: smallswifey
Member since Aug 04, 2011
Posted: on Feb 22, 2012

I do too Sean, god knows how many times my husband has just rolled over and after he goes to sleep I "stir" him awake. And I love waking up to him "playing" with me, even if I say no.

EDD: Jan 23, 2013, Little Rock AFB

Love my monster <3 Malachi Charles *9-16-08* angel baby one [8-9-11] angel baby two :12-20-11:RIP!!! I love all my babies!!!

HappyWi...

By: HappyWifeyMommy
Member since Apr 19, 2011
Posted: on Feb 22, 2012

It depends, honestly. If it's something you aren't OK with at all though, I would say yes, it's rape. I know a lot people who have been raped or suffered childhood sexual abuse, and to wake up with their husband inside them would be terrifying and traumatizing.

Smalls - I do to, but that doesnt mean for some women it wouldnt be a serious violation of their body.

ravense...

By: ravenserein
Member since Nov 27, 2011
Posted: on Feb 22, 2012

I think it depends on the spousal relationship yenn. Some people may be "too tired" and fall asleep, but be into it when they wake up to it. Now if you just flat out say "no! I don't want to" and they force themselves on you that's another story...

napaashley

By: napaashley
Member since Oct 14, 2011
Posted: on Feb 22, 2012

Sometimes late at night...

I rape myself!

EDD: Jun 21, 2012, Napa, Ca

YennMendez

By: YennMendez
Member since Oct 19, 2011
Posted: on Feb 22, 2012

Exactly. I understand not wanting it before bed, then waking up and want it. That's when you wake/play with eachother and then have sex. Or telling your other half it's ok to wake up to that. But if you said no and you wake up with him inside you and it makes you feel violated then it's rape. It's taking away your consent
to say no

Arizona

I'm just a kid, and life is a nightmare.

seanikins

By: seanikins
Member since Jul 07, 2011
Posted: on Feb 22, 2012

It's our husbands ladies!! I also love waking up to his touch. He's my husband, I trust him. That's why we have that bond. I guess that's just my relationship..

EDD: Mar 08, 2012

ravense...

By: ravenserein
Member since Nov 27, 2011
Posted: on Feb 22, 2012

Yeah but honestly the guy might think you are awake. I mean getting you on your back spread eagle and de-clothed (if you sleep clothed as I do) he may just assume all the commotion already woke you up. If it is your husband you shouldnt necessarily feel violated unless you tell him to dismount and he refuses....it may be weird, but i wouldn't call it rape, not at that level by itself anyway.

Swannie

By: Swannie
Member since Aug 14, 2011
Posted: on Feb 22, 2012

I have read the post that sparked this. The op treated the situation rather flippantly like if she hadn't had a headache/been tired it would
Be ok...

DDock

By: DDock
Member since Aug 11, 2011
Posted: on Feb 22, 2012

I feel as though my reply may be more graphic than I would otherwise be interested in contributing. Sorry in advance.

If I am asleep, and am woken up in preparation of intercourse. Cool. Fun. No worries (personally). You still have your opportunity to decline. It is still a two person endeavor.

If I am asleep and wake up to penetration, or penetration happened while asleep: 100% not ok to me. Not only is it without consent, and forceful; I (and my pleasure and enjoyment) were not considered in the slightest. I don't get the fun in that.

EDD: Apr 05, 2012

seanikins

By: seanikins
Member since Jul 07, 2011
Posted: on Feb 22, 2012

My husband has tried fooling around with me when I wasn't in the mood. Hell that's life, but we ALL know we can be persuaded.. Men or women. If it's a healthy happy home, its not rape..

EDD: Mar 08, 2012

LisaZoeMax

By: LisaZoeMax
Member since Oct 30, 2011
Posted: on Feb 22, 2012

I agree with yenn.

when we where ttc my oh was working weird shifts so I said when u get home just wake me up.for sex. at 3am I was saying no but he was working me or warming me up to wake me. he didn't enter me til I was ready. I said no and he respected that and waited til ibwas awake lol

if he came from work and started having sex with me without consent , we hadn't discussed the ttc, that he just wanted sex then that's rape. sum may Say its being taken advantage of but either way t wasn't consented .

EDD: Jul 04, 2012

rkfan85

By: rkfan85
Member since Dec 15, 2011
Posted: on Feb 22, 2012

The law recognizes unconsentual sex in a marriage as rape. So there are no opinions here. If the law says it's rape, it's rape. Period. No disagreeing. Look it up for yourself. Don't try to say it's not rape when the law says it is. What you think doesn't change the fact that you could legally press charges against your husband for rape when he has sex with you without consent.

EDD: Apr 22, 2012, Salt Lake City, Utah

YennMendez

By: YennMendez
Member since Oct 19, 2011
Posted: on Feb 22, 2012

But I'm not talking about just fooling around. I'm talking about full on intercourse while you are sleeping.

DDock explained it perfectly

Arizona

I'm just a kid, and life is a nightmare.

seanikins

By: seanikins
Member since Jul 07, 2011
Posted: on Feb 22, 2012

Just seems harsh. Man trying to get action from his old lady. To be labeled a rapist.. I'm not going to get sucked in any further.

EDD: Mar 08, 2012

lattoo

By: lattoo
Member since Apr 16, 2011
Posted: on Feb 22, 2012

However if in the relationship the couple has ageed that no consent is ever necessary then it is NOT rape!
Depends on relationships!

seanikins

By: seanikins
Member since Jul 07, 2011
Posted: on Feb 22, 2012

So if you're sleeping, how did you say no? Again, it's not some random guy that broke in that's "violating" you. It's your husband making love. Bumping uglies with his wife. . Your Husband.

EDD: Mar 08, 2012

ravense...

By: ravenserein
Member since Nov 27, 2011
Posted: on Feb 22, 2012

Yeah it seems harsh to press charges against your husband for this. Unless, like I said, you told him to get of and he ignored your demand.

rkfan85

By: rkfan85
Member since Dec 15, 2011
Posted: on Feb 22, 2012

@ lattoo- I'll agree with that. It really does depend on the dynamics of the relationship. Doesn't mean the law wouldn't be on your side if it upset you though.

EDD: Apr 22, 2012, Salt Lake City, Utah

heatherK33

By: heatherK33
Member since Mar 15, 2011
Posted: on Feb 22, 2012

Am I the only one who would love to wake up to sex? DH could wake me up any time to that! I'd be so turned on actually. I really honestly in our 3 years have never turned him down or not wanted to have sex. Even when I felt gross and pregnant, I was always DTF. Lol. Am I really the only one that feels it could never be rape? Unless he cheated on me and I was going to leave. Idk I just don't see it happening in my marriage.

EDD: Apr 21, 2012

addieff

By: addieff
Member since Aug 01, 2011
Posted: on Feb 22, 2012

based on the original post of this happening and what it entailed... if a scenario like that makes you cry rape and feel abused and truly violated, not just annoyed like that woman seemed... if you don't feel safe and comfortable enough with your husband to trust that his intentions weren't bad and that he would never cause you harm to get it... maybe you should rethink your marriage and your husband. women who would cry rape in a situation like that must not have truly trusted and felt comfortable and safe with their husbands to begin with. there is a HUGE difference between a husband getting some nookie from his sleeping exhausted wife and one forcefully taking it from a wife trying her hardest to stop him and push him off.

rkfan85

By: rkfan85
Member since Dec 15, 2011
Posted: on Feb 22, 2012

I personally don't like waking up to sex. If my husband ever did that to me, I'd throw a fit. It would bring flashbacks of a different experience I would just never like to relive. And he knows that.

EDD: Apr 22, 2012, Salt Lake City, Utah

DDock

By: DDock
Member since Aug 11, 2011
Posted: on Feb 22, 2012

I know that my man would never have ill intent.

When we have sex he wants it to be the best and most wonderful time for me. Hence the reason he would want me to be an active participant. Again, wake me up with anything but penetration. I can't see my man wanting to stick it in a snoring body.

EDD: Apr 05, 2012